


Second Chance

by FanaticShipper07



Category: Angel: the Series, Buffy the Vampire Slayer (TV)
Genre: Angel loves Buffy, Canon-Typical Violence, Drabble, Episode: s01e19 Sanctuary, F/M, POV Angel (BtVS), but to be fair it came out before i was born, double standard, honestly this scene really made me mad, its been living rent-free in my head for months, slightly abusive relationship?, so i had to express it somehow, way late to this fandom
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:34:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27753907
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanaticShipper07/pseuds/FanaticShipper07
Summary: A detailed rewrite of the scene in 1.19 of A:tS.Angel believes in second chances, but does Buffy?
Relationships: Angel & Faith Lehane, past Angel/Buffy
Comments: 8
Kudos: 11





	Second Chance

Buffy’s chest rose and fell quickly with each breath, her eyes narrowed in a controlled rage he had been on the wrong end of too many times. He felt sick, looking at her in that moment. The last thing he wanted to do was fight with her, but Faith needed his help and Buffy wasn’t allowed to decide who was worthy of being saved.

“You’re gonna stop me?” she asked, disbelievingly. “‘Cause you’re gonna have to.”

Angel just needed to get Faith out of the room, talk to Buffy alone. He knew she would see sense when she wasn’t blinded by the events of the past. He knew all too well how deeply the memories could cut, but it was never too late for change. Buffy couldn’t see it clearly, but Angel could. If he could only make her understand…

As Faith fled to the upstairs per the vampire’s order, Buffy moved to stop her. Without thinking, Angel pulled her back by her arm, the slayer turning and throwing a solid punch. His block came easily, but then she drew back her arm for another. The endless days of fighting monsters and creatures of all sorts had worn on him, making him more capable of defending himself than ever. Instinct was the only force that drove him to strike back, though his blow was weaker than Buffy’s.

Angel froze, the small amount of blood in his veins turning to ice as he stared at her shocked face. He had hit her. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt Buffy, yet it seemed to be the only thing he was capable of where she was concerned. Apologies poured from him before he could think the words, not nearly enough to make up for what he had done. He made a slight move toward her and she inched away, too familiar for Angel. She was afraid of him, like she had been when she’d first discovered his true nature, like she had been when he’d become Angelus and sought to take away all that she held dear. He had vowed never to make her afraid of him ever again, but it seemed he had failed her once more.

“She’s not gonna run, Buffy,” he said quietly, trying to break the tension-thick atmosphere that had already sunk its claws into his chest, into his unbeating heart. He had to make this right, if it were even possible anymore.

Buffy scoffed, just as quiet, “Well, why would she? When she has her brave knight to protect her?” The words were cutting, possibly more so than the blonde had even intended. Did she know how badly Angel had wanted to be there for her? To protect her and check on her injuries? To watch her chest rise and fall and  _ know _ that she was safe? “What got you?” Buffy continued, as Angel had been too preoccupied with schooling his expression to reply, “Does she cry? Pouty lips, heaving bosom…” she trailed off, shaking head slightly, as if reprimanding herself. “I thought you needed help,” Buffy accused, her own expression guarded against him.

Every inch of his body fought against the pain of the situation, the pain of seeing her like this. “You think I wanted this to happen?” he asked instead, voice rough with the emotion he couldn’t afford to let out.

“You  _ hit _ me,” Buffy said, voicing his thoughts aloud. Her voice wavered on the words, her heart beating faster in her chest. 

He opened his mouth to apologise again, but he realised something: Buffy hadn’t apologised for hitting him and she never had in the past, either. “Not to go all school yard on you, but you hit me first,” he replied, angrier at her than he had ever been in the past. Did she not believe he was worth the words of apology? “In case you’ve forgotten, you’re a little bit stronger than I am.” It went without saying that a slayer was stronger than a vampire, but it never seemed to deter Buffy from striking out at the first provocation.

The blonde’s voice took on a sharp edge as she accused, “You did it for  _ her.” _

Angel’s frown deepened. Was that really all she cared about? She claimed to have come here to check on him, but all she really wanted was revenge on Faith. He ignored the sinking feeling in his chest, saying, “You were about three seconds from making her run, you know that.” He heard Buffy’s scoff behind him, prompting him to continue, “She’s at a crucial stage.”

“She’s playing you!” Buffy exclaimed, turning to face the vampire again, “She tried to kill you!”

“That was just-” Angel sighed, already anticipating the slayer’s reaction, “That was just a cry for help.”

Buffy narrowed her eyes, “A cry for help is when you say  _ ‘help’  _ in a loud voice.”

Angel leaned down a little farther, meeting Buffy’s eyes as he stated as gently as he could manage, “I know Faith did some bad things to you.” It wasn’t enough, he knew, but it was something.

“You can’t possibly know,” she said lowly, her voice taking on a new edge.

“And you can’t possibly know what she’s going though,” he replied a little more roughly than he had intended. He couldn’t help it, knowing exactly how Faith felt and watching Buffy completely disregard the other side of the story. Faith wasn’t a saint, by any means, but it was never too late for a second chance. He  _ had _ to believe that - if he didn’t, he wouldn’t have survived this long.

Buffy’s expression ironed out at his words, her head nodding a few times, “But of course, you do? I’m sorry, I can’t be in your club.  _ I’ve _ never murdered anybody.”

He felt his eyes widen, his jaw tense, and he fought to hold back all the things he wanted to say to her. She couldn’t understand the guilt he lived with every day, knowing he had spilled the innocent blood of hundreds. Some mornings, he could feel it on his palms when he jolted from sleep, the sink never working to rid him of the stains. The stains weren’t truly on his palms, but his soul. He would never be able to escape the things he had done, but Faith still had time, she could still change before her past haunted her as badly as his own did. 

When he looked at Buffy, the cold glare, the cutting words… He could hardly recognise her. 

But maybe that was for the best.


End file.
